Just Me

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Oh boy! What a week. Suddenly I find myself alone. What did I do. Have I done something wrong? Why has everyone now left me. Once we were 5, now …… just me. I seek reassurance from my Mama, my big scottie eyes questioning the silence, the single bowl put down at breakfast, the vacant space on the chair where She and Fin sat.

Mama tells me they’ve gone across the Rainbow Bridge. Wow ….. that sounds really pretty and I suggest that I too would like to go. “Not now” She says….. “but one day.” But I want to go ….. now! Everyone else has gone, even some friends in blogsville and Facebook. Why have I been overlooked. I know I can be a bit feisty on walks, a true “bold” scottie when confronted by other doggies we meet, but I’m only protecting my clan. Now there’s no one to protect. Mama tells me that She still needs protecting, “and you” She says “my little braveheart, You need to stay a while longer to carry on this duty”.

This is so not fair! I feel I’ve been overlooked, left out, not wanted. But then I see Her big brown eyes, filled with tears for those not with us anymore, I sense her vulnerability and realise that in my own scottie way I have been chosen – chosen to look after Her for the rest of my life.

And so, it’s just me.

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25 thoughts on “Just Me

  1. Bobby, you are not alone, all the others are there guiding you on, and we are all here to blog with you, till we are called. Bites says the previous Scotties all guided him cause he has a trait from each one, that they passed on to make Mom & Dad laugh and remind them of all the others. So you need to step up and be the Man to guide Mom and make her laugh also!

    The Mad Scots

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    • I shall look for and seek guidance then, from the others that have gone before me. I shall step up to the plate and make them proud of me. Soon She’ll remember how laugh again and I’ll be there for her, because one thing I know for sure – I can certainly make her laugh ….. apparently quite a lot!!!!

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  2. It’s a big responsibility Bobby. But only you can do it. Only you can share the love of your pack with those who care more for you and for those who have gone before you more than you know. Here’s to the wags, the licks, the looks and the love of all who feel your grief. Across the miles…across the pond and around the world.

    Peace, Stuart, Yours in Strength

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    • Thank you Stuart. I know in time that I’ll be able to pick up where we left off. Each of us provided Her with something different and I’ll make sure that She sees that I “borrowed” little bits of each of them to see her through and at the same time I’ll still be Bobby. The kindness of others like you, Stuart, have made me realise that I’m not really alone.

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  3. Bobby – I’ll be your buddy. Like you, I have to be the protector and for Mom. I also make her laugh and make sure she exercises with me. We play ball and go for walks together. And if she looks unhappy, I just do my “Down” move and she laughs. And then there is Aunty D too. So I have 2 lovely ladies to take care of. You can do it! Maybe you can get a playdate buddy. Finn and Wally (Westies) are mine and we go to each other’s house/yard and play (2 times a month). It is fun. I thinks you need to take your lady on a walkie and take some photos of all the flowers.
    Cheers,
    Your buddy Ranger

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    • Ranger, you are far older than your young years belie – you have such wisdom. I’ve got some new walks planned for us – gotta hope the English weather holds out though – which I’m sure she’ll enjoy. Fortunately I have a playmate. She’s my niece and she’s 12 years old, she’s older than me! She’s so tiny everyone still thinks she’s a puppy, but we do see each other regularly. Will have to wait to get out, it’s so windy and wet here, I think all the flowers have been blowed away! Take care little buddy, thanks for the “pep talk”, hope you have a great weekend.

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  4. Bobby your job is not finished here. Your companionship is so much need. You are not alone though it might feel that way. Bobby you have all the other great scots who walked before you and around you in you now, their spirits will forever be there to keep you in their loving paws. I know you are lonely now give it some time.
    Sweet William The Scot

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    • Sweet William The Scot, the others who trod before me were much better at looking after Mama. I’m such a scatter-brain, but whilst we’re going through this quiet time I’ll listen out for guidance from them and be ready for when Mama comes back from her dark place. I’ll be ready, definitely!

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  5. Oh Bobby, we share your sadness. Our hearts are breaking not just for the loss of Finlay but for you & your family too. You haven’t been left behind and you are not alone. Whenever you feel or think this just remember that you have your entire Blogville family right by your side.

    It is a big responsibility which you have been left with & right now you may not think that you are up for it or even want to be up for it…but just give it a little time. You are brave…you are strong…and you are so, so loved.

    Wallace & Samuel

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    • The responsibility seems so large and frightening. When we were all together, we shared the task of looking after her, well the other 4 did really, I just did the funny things. Now it’s just me and I’m worried I won’t live up my mother, brothers & sister’s standards. But, I’ve got time, as you say. It’s a new way for all of us. It IS a good job that I know She loves me ….. otherwise.

      Thanks Wallace and Samuel, I know in time it’ll all get sorted.

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    • Thanks Speedy. It’s friends like you that make me determined to stick around and carry on the “good work” the other Sparhawk Scotties have done. A different chapter of adventures has opened up for us here, and one that I’d like to share with you, my friends. Off to give Mama some snuggles now as we need to hunker down for the afternoon – we’ve got gale force winds here around here!

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    • Will need to work on my “cuddle time” exercises. Not nearly as good at it as Fin was. He’d see the night out sitting on Her lap. Me, I’d pick and choose whether I wanted to be cuddled. I’d stay a while and then get down. Hmmmmm …. Note to self: “it’s Her than needs the cuddling, not me” . Thanks girls for reminding me of my duties – I know I can do the protecting duties, sometimes …. so long as there not any loud noises involved as I have a tendency to run away and hide …. Sounds like I need to work on that one too! I’ll get the hang of it soon.

      Hope you have a good weekend.

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  6. you can do it bobby! your momma needs you here so you can help one another heal from the hole that finlay has left in your hearts. it may seem like you’ve been left behind, but if you went too then your momma would be left with no one to give her cuddles and licks and to make her laugh.

    edgar and his mum

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    • Thanks Dougall – you’ve been a great help. It’s brilliant that I can get help and advice from my friends in Blogville. You’ve all given comfort and support to both me and Mama – thanks !

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